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Can I just talk to you for a minute? It involves the heart.

  Author:  60792  Category:(General Advice) Created:(7/19/2008 1:24:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (262 times)

Alright so...I KNOW that when it comes to a crush, you just gotta come out and admit it to them. But sometimes it just feels better to talk about it with others. You know?

So basically...I really like this guy I work with. He sometimes flirted with me for a while, and that's as far as it went. But in the past few months, I've been going to movies with him. But it's frustrating, because it seems like I'm the one whose taking the initiative.

The first time I asked over our radios at work if anyone wanted to go see the midnight premiere of Indiana Jones. He said he'd go, and that I could call it a date if I wanted to (lol, I never did...maybe that's my first mistake...I worry that that was his big move but I didn't act on it so it got his hopes down.)

The second time we were in the break room cause our lunches overlapped. We were talking about movies (seems all we can ever talk about) and I said I wanted to see Hancock but didn't have anyone to go with (yes, I was hinting.) He said he'd go. So I met him at the theater that night. It was July 4th.

This third time, he kept asking if I was going to the batman midnight premiere. I told him I'd think about it cause I had to be at work at 9 in the next morning. But I decided I'd go, cause the way I figured I could operate on 5 hours of sleep (turned out to be even less, I couldn't fall asleep so I only got like less than 2.) So I sent him a text saying I was going.

I met some friends and we were going to go out to eat before we went, so I decided to get even braver and I sent him a text message asking him what time he was going to get there, and told him that we were going to Hooters and asked if he wanted to go. He asked who was going, I told him, and he said sure. So he met us there, we hung out and joked around then went to the movie. AND he dressed nice too (well so did I lol).

But it was a great time, and I'm glad I went.

But it's like, I think it's really starting to put a damper on my hopes because it seems that it's only me that has any guts. Or it's starting to make me wonder if the possibility of him just not liking me like that is even more well, possible.

I'm still not brave enough to just come out and say to him that I like him. But aren't I putting off some signals by wanting to hang out with him and stuff?

I guess I'm just impatient when it comes to something I want to happen now. But thanks for listening anyway :)

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Replies:      
Date: 7/19/2008 1:36:00 PM  From Authorid: 20669    honestly hun? i would just go and ask him how he feels. Yeah it's putting yourself out there, but then at least you can know. It may be awkward for a bit if things don't work out, but i'd rather have a few days of awkwardness, than play 'the what if' game for however long it takes to figure it out on your own. Muster up your courage and go talk to him girl! Good luck!~  
Date: 7/19/2008 2:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 4995    The greatest love of my life used to hang out with me all the time and I loved him so much but he was silent about his feelings for nearly a year. Be patient and follow your heart..:) *HUGS*  
Date: 7/19/2008 2:20:00 PM  From Authorid: 15157    Just try to be patient. He will come around. Try to not initiate the invite for a week and see what happens.  
Date: 7/19/2008 4:12:00 PM  From Authorid: 13297    Things always right themselves in the end. If the guy is hinting in the beginning and being receptive to your invitations, then he is probably interested. Maybe he is just shy and prefers to let you take the initiative... I would say just take it easy, work on your friendship (the foundation of all good relationships) and give it time to develop. After doing so you will either both want to move towards more or you will realise why it won't work. I know it's not the instant answer you hoped for but most things in life worth having are worth waiting for.  
Date: 7/19/2008 4:41:00 PM  From Authorid: 62849    Kiss him. That ought to clear things up a bit.  
Date: 7/19/2008 4:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 62849    LOL.. of course eimaJ has a better idea- and it's not nearly as scary!  
Date: 7/19/2008 8:13:00 PM  From Authorid: 63121    I heard somewhere that 80% of guys want the lady to make the first moves. :D I say if you really like him, take it slow (It's hard if you really like him I know). Even if you guys don't end up together, you might end up having an awesome friend. Sometimes it better that way. I think it's kind of funny me reading this because I'm going through something almost exactly the same. Hahaha. :D  
Date: 7/19/2008 8:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 60792    LOL beags. That would sure clue him in XD  
Date: 7/20/2008 1:59:00 AM  From Authorid: 35720    I think it sounds like he's interested, personally. He's just shy.. give it a little time.  
Date: 7/20/2008 6:43:00 AM  From Authorid: 62849    *shrugs* I made the first move on my husband, sort of. I had been interested in him for months but had never really talked to him (other than small talk), so I wasn't sure if he would return the interest. One night, I ran into him at the bar, I happened to be out alone, looking for my friends on an unplanned night out, and after we got to talking I asked if I could buy him a beer (I always used to do something like that to make it very obvious to a guy that I wouldn't turn him down if he asked me out or wanted to buy me a drink or an ice cream or something). Anyway, he said sure, but that he should buy. So we sat and had a beer together, and about 3 years later we got married!  
Date: 7/22/2008 5:41:00 AM  From Authorid: 53961    Let me know when you figure it out... Been there for um... 19 years...  
Date: 7/25/2008 6:01:00 AM  From Authorid: 57640    Guys like to take the easy way out of everything...well at least in my opinion. If a girl is willing to be dominant and make all the decisions, he is perfectly fine with that. I've been the dominant person in all of my relationships. I'm sick of it now though haha I wan't someone to take the reins this time... I wouldn't think about it too much, but if it gets to a point where you're making ALL of the decisions and putting all of the effort into it, then I would sit him down and talk to him about it.  

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